How to Travel with a Gypsy

UP Film Institute Celebrates "Wandering, Wondering, Wonderful Women" at teh 18th International Women Film Festival.

2008-03-07T22:20:00.001+08:00

WANDERING, WONDERING WONDERFUL WOMEN
18th International Film Festival
10th to 13th March 2008
UP Film Institute
University of the Philippines Diliman, Quezon City

Presented by
The UP Film Institute, Businessworld & HerWord and GMA Network, Microdata PhilippinesFESTIVAL PARTNERS
University Student Council, University of the Philippines, Diliman
Quezon City Gender and Development Office
Trade Union Congress of the Philippines
Democratic Socialist Women of the Philippines
Center for Community Journalism and Development
Rep. Liza Maza (Gabriela Women’s Party)
F177 Women in Cinema class, UP Film Institute
University Center for Women’s StudiesEmbassy of Spain
Embassy of Israel
Environmental Broadcast Circle

ABOUT THE FESTIVAL
Theme: WANDERING WONDERING WONDERFUL WOMEN

With the growing trend of feminization of labor migration all over the world, topped by the Philippines as the widest exporter of human labor, the UP Film Institute pays homage to Filipino women abroad. The 18th International Women’s Film Festival (18th IWFF) features women-directed films on Filipino women overseas and winning entries of the IWFF international short film competition as well.

A festival highlight is Malaysian full-length film-- handpicked by the 18th IWFF committee-- Tan Chui Mui’s Love Conquers All , which bagged first prizes from Pusan, Rotterdam and Hong Kong film festivals.

Forums on women and migration, with lectures by women directors as a highlight, explore discourses on film as a diasporic experience, filming the diasporic experience and the diasporic nomadic woman.

For the festival launch night, in recognition of her legacy as THE CONTRAVIDA of Philippine movies, the sole Diwata awardee is the irreplaceable Ms. Bella Flores. Ms. Flores has appeared in more than 100 movies since her career began as a 16-year old lass in the early 1950s. Even today, no one parallels her iconic looks and acting wit.
Crafting the Diwata trophy is well-known sculptor Ms. Lia Torralba, who blends together the images of leaf, woman, moon and vessel into her work.

Also for the launch night, to celebrate the role of young women artists and activists in promoting equity and equality for women, multi-awarded actress Ms. Judy Ann Santos and UP Diliman University Student Council Chair (Incoming UP Student Regent) Ms. Shahana Abdulwahid give more significance the festival with inspirational remarks. UP Open University Chancellor Grace Javier Alfonso and Film Institute Director Anne Marie de Guzman provide the festival overview.

For the festival duration, women faculty of the UP Film Institute and other women artists mount a multi-media exhibit on SENSE AND WANDERING at the Ishmael Bernal Gallery for the whole month of March.

The festival is open to partners and sponsors. Send inquiries to

The Festival Director
Carol Bello
18th IWFF
upfi.adarna@gmail.com

FESTIVAL LAUNCH
Special tribute and Diwata Award* given to Ms. Bella Flores. Featuring inspirational remarks by Judy Ann Santos and UP Student Regent Shahana Abdulwahid. 10 March/ 6:30 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Free Entrance

FESTIVAL FILMS

Winning Short Films
International Women’s Short Film Competition
10 March, 8:00 P.M.
(Cine Adarna)
Free Entrance
films by women

Don’t Give Up on Us (2006)
A control freak braves the mountain region to confront the man who may have snatched her brother’s fiancée. Director: Joyce Bernal. Starring Judy Ann Santos and Piolo Pascual. 10 March, 3:00 P.M. (Cine Adarna)
Entrance: 50 pesos only

Be Fruitful and Multiply
Presented by the Embassy of Israel and the University Center for Women’s Studies
Ultra-orthodox Jewish women in the United States and Israel contend with life as a continuing cycle of pregnancy, giving birth, nursing and nurturing. 10 March, 5:00 P.M. (forum follows screening) (Cine Adarna) Free Admission

One More Chance (2007)
The year’s highest-grossing homegrown romance tackles the tale of an engineer and a lady architect who’ve been sweethearts since college. Their affair heads for the crossroad when she resolves to try her independence. Director: Cathy Garcia-Molina. Starring John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo. 11 March, 3:00 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Entrance: 50 pesos only

Milan (2004)
Love truly works in mysterious ways as a Pinay overseas worker in Italy is drawn to a man searching for his missing wife. Director: Olivia M. Lamasan. Starring Claudine Barretto and Piolo Pascual. 12 March, 3:00 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Entrance: 50 pesos only

Love Conquers All
A rural girl in the big city is cheated into prostitution by the very man she falls for. Hailed as world cinema’s most celebrated film of late from a woman director! Directed by Tan Chui Mui. 12 March, 7:00 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Entrance: 100 pesos only

Dubai (2005)
Pinoy brothers in Dubai fall for the same adorable woman.
Director: Rory B. Quintos. Starring Aga Muhlach, Claudine Barretto and John Lloyd Cruz. 13 March, 2:00 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Entrance: 50 pesos only

Abadeha: The Filipina Cinderella (2007)
Cinderella gets to be Pinay set to neo-ethnic rock. Winner of Best Feature Film Debut—2007 New York International Independent Film and Video Festival. Director/Producer: Myrna D. dela Paz. 13 March, 5:00 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Entrance: 130 pesos only

Care Home (2006)
Superstar Nora Aunor in another dramatic turn as a lonely caregiver in the United States with her own battle against malignant cancer. Director: Suzette Ranillo. Starring Nora Aunor, Gloria Sevilla and Divina Valencia. 13 March, 7:00 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Entrance: 100 pesos only

tribute to Bella Flores
Philippine cinema’s perennial contravida get to be lead for once as this year’s sole Diwata Awardee for Lifetime Achievement. Tribute highlights two of the most unforgettable among her innumerable screen appearances: Young Love (1969). 12 March, 300P.M. (Videotheque) Entrance: 35 pesos only; Ilusyon (2005) 12 March, 5:00 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Entrance: 50 pesos only
gender –sensitive films
Presented by the Quezon City Gender and Development Resource and Coordinating Office Program: Winners of Metro Manila Film Festival’s Most Gender-Sensitive Film Award of the last two years--

Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo (2006) Director: Jose Javier Reyes. Starring Judy Ann Santos and Ryan Agoncillo. 11 March, 5:00 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Entrance: 50 pesos only

Desperadas (2008) Director: Joel Lamangan. Starring Ruffa Guiterrez, Rufa Mae Quinto, Iza Calzado and Marian Rivera. 11 March, 7:30 P.M. (Cine Adarna) Entrance: 50 pesos only

FORUMS

Film as a Diasporic Experience
Videotheque, 2nd Floor of Bernal Gallery
11 March, 1:00-3:00 P.M.

Forum with screenings by the Democratic Socialist Women of the Philippines
11 March, 10:00 AM -12:00 PM
Cine Adarna UP Film Institute

Conversations with Women Filmmakers
Featuring Joyce Bernal, Khryss Adalia, Cathy Garcia-Molina, Olive Lamasan (tentative) and Rory Quintos (tentative)
12 March, 1:00-3:00 P.M.
Cine Adarna, UP Film Institute

Forum with screenings by the Center Community Journalism and Development
“Traficked! Mga Biktima ng Mapaninlang na Pangako”
12 March, 10:00-12:00
Cine Adarna, UP Film Institute

Being ‘here’ and becoming ‘there’: The Diasporic Nomadic Woman
13 March, 1:00-3:00 P.M.
Videotheque, 2nd Floor of Bernal Gallery

Forum with screenings by Gabriela National/Gabriela Women’s Party
13 March, 3:00-5:00 P.M.
Ishmael Bernal Gallery

FESTIVAL MUSIC CONCERTS

World Music Fusion with Cynthia Alexander
11 March/ 8:30 P.M.
Ishmael Bernal Gallery

Folk- World Music Beat of Bayang Barrios (with UP music bands)
12 March/ 8:30 P.M.
Ishmael Bernal Gallery

Young all-women band Engkantada and Tao Nono Aves with UP music bands
13 March/ 9:00 P.M.
Cinema Lobby and Courtyard

FILM SEMINAR
EXPLORATIONS ON THE DYNAMIC USES OF VIDEO FOR ADVOCACY
By Surf Reyes
10 March, 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.
Cine Adarna Theater
Fee: Php 200.00 only, inclusive of training materials and snacks

ART EXHIBIT
Women faculty of the UP Film Institute and other women artists mount a multimedia exhibit on SENSE AND WANDERING at the Ishmael Bernal Gallery, curated by Vivian Limpin.
Grace Javier Alfonso
Tina Basco Vivian N. Limpin
Carol Bello Laya Boquiren
Anne Marie de Guzman Lia Torralba
Avie Felix Teta Tulay
Marie Frances Madrid

REKORIDA: an art exhibit at the Ishmael Bernal Gallery, UP Film Institute.

2008-03-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

REKORIDA (pangngalan) : distansiyang nilalakbay o dinadaanan kapag palagiang naglalakbay (UP Diksyonaryong Filipino, 2001)Elipsis.

Kinalimutan na nga ba sila ng panahon?

Ang penomena ng migrasyon at diaspora ay di na lingid sa atin, ang sapilitang paglisan sa kinalakihang bayan dahil sa kakulangan ng oportunidad at kakayahang mamuhay nang matiwasay. Patuloy ang paglaki ng bilang ng mga kababaihang migrante bilang sektor ng manggagawa, mapa-lalawigan-lungsod o Pilipinas-ibang bansa man. At isa sa mga isyung kinakaharap ng isang diasporic na kababaihang manggagawa ay ang kakulangan ng mga batas ng bayang pinagmulan/bayang pinatunguhan, upang siya ay mabigyan ng proteksyonâ€”proteksyon para sa kanyang sarili, identidad, kasarian, kasanayan.

Bilang isang pagpupugay sa mga sakripisyo, tungggalian at karahasang dinaanan, karanasan at tagumpay ng mga kababaihang migrante at manlilikha, inihahandog ng UP Film Institute ang REKORIDA: Isang Eksibit Para Sa/Ng Mga Kababaihang Manlilikha , mula ika-10 hanggang ika-25 ng Marso 2008, sa Ishmael Bernal Gallery, UP Diliman, sa pamumuno ni Bb. Vivian N. Limpin, isang multdisiplinaryang manlilikha.

Halinaâ€™t tunghayan at makibahagi sa paghabi ng [ka]saysay[an] ng ating mga kababaihang manlilikha, patunay na hindi sila kailanman, kayang kalimutan ng espasyo at panahon. Ang mga mag-eeksibit ay sina:

Grace Javier Alfonso
Tina Basco
Carol Bello
Laya Boquiren
Anne Marie De Guzman
Rovie dela Cruz
Aileen Familara
Avie Felix
Vivian N. Limpin
Marie Frances Madrid
Rosang Pula
Teta Tulay

Magbubukas ang eksibit sa ika-10 ng Marso, ala-6 ng gabi, sa Ishmael Bernal Gallery, UP Diliman. Bukas para sa publiko.

Para sa mga katanungan, mangyaring tumawag sa UP Film Institute sa: 926.36.40, 926.27.22 (telefax), 981.85.00 loc. 4286. O mag-email sa: upfi.adarna@gmail.com.

2007-05-25T01:40:00.001+08:00

enough with serious posts. today i'm posting more sensible stuff to talk about, like---my hair.

it's funny how sometimes i can draft a separate history of my hair. or i would remember bits of history [of myself or other people or events/places/things because of a particular hairstyle i sported--and ofcourse the clothes i wore too, hahaha] for really most of the time, my hair becomes a reflection of my inner state, an extension of the image/person/character i want to project or put across, or vice versa. sometimes, it becomes a mask, sometimes a pretense. but oftentimes, it mirrors truth. well, the kind of truth i adhere to anyway, for there is a whole gamut of discourses regarding that and i wouldn't want to 'waste' my precious blog space for something that you can talk and argue about ad infinitum. haha. JOKE. again, i reiterate, this post is about more 'sensible' stuff. hahaha.

going back, my hair already have a rather long history on its own. it had gone from long and straight to bob, to shoulder-length and straight to shoulder length and curled, to short and curled, to straight again, to pixie short, to mid-back, and with color, well you get the picture. aside from indulging my adhd and obsessive-compulsive behavior, changing hairstyles becomes therapeutic as it helps me keep a fresh out/look. styling it, cutting it, doing whatever to it, helps bend pent up emotions and actually keep me sane and sound.

i had my hair curled about a week ago. i didn't really plan on having it curled since i wanted to grow it really long. but i was really having such a boring time with it already since i had it long and straight since june, and maintaining it shiny and soft with a monthly hot oil treat was just taking up too much time and effort. plus, the long, straight locks just weigh me down because it carried too much memories and too much negativity i would rather break away from. so i wanted to do something with it. having it curled signaled a new chapter in my life, as it had always been in the past. it also signified a whole new person, and hopefully a better one at that.

the whole 'curling' process was an ordeal! it took more than 7hours in the salon, until the stylist asked me to just leave the curlers on and come back in the morning. [yeah, yeah, so what if i had to meet randel up at burger king with a black shower cap covering the curlers in my hair, in the wee hours of the morning? ahahaha] i had high hopes that by morning and three curling processes after, my long awaited curls would be all set.

they weren't.

the stylists didn't wash the hair yet after taking out the curlers to be sure that my hair would stay curled. so i had to stroll around the metro with solution-stinky hair. ahahaha. still i endured it, all for the sake of my.. hmmm... [ka]ART[ehan.]

and if that joy, that thrill, doesn't thrill you like you think it will....

the curls 'normalized' after a while. and i could say i was giddy with my curls for some time. BUT. but having these curls is more high maintenance than just having the straight locks. so far, i have bought three different styling / leave on/ serum products to keep the curls intact and not to damage my hair, to no avail. i am giving my best effort to keep the style on for i wanted this in the first place. i wanted this change, no matter how abrupt it was or different. well, it's not that i regret doing what i have done, it's just that it wasn't exactly how i envisioned it, or hoped it would be.

until, i found this bottle of mousse! ahahaha! i tried it a while ago and indeed, the curls are now way better than before. they are more defined and less grease on my hair! wheee!

hopefully it stays this way until i find another one, a better styling product, or a better hairstyle to keep the crescent moon serenely sitting on my lips.

nah..

2007-04-15T11:55:00.000+08:00

from the man who couldn't dance by jason katims

Gail: why didn't you just say 'I can't dance'? why didn't you just tell me?

Eric: because it was the dam holding the water. If I let that out, the one thing, everything would follow. I couldn’t dance. I couldn’t have a normal talk about the weather with a neighbor without getting into a conversation about God, love and eternity. I mean, after all, the weather has this huge connotations. I couldn’t act correctly in social situations. I couldn’t sacrifice truth for a relationship. I couldn’t hold you when you needed to be held because I wanted you to be stronger. Because I wanted to be stronger. I couldn’t ask you for the warmth of your touch out of need. I couldn’t let myself. I would only ask for your touch out of strength. Out of something that wouldn’t become sick and interdependent and symbiotic. I wasn’t able to do these things. I don’t know Gail…..

happiness is.

2007-04-06T22:18:00.000+08:00

happiness is finding a pencil
pizza with sausage
telling the time.

happiness is learning to whistle
tying your shoe for the very first time.

happiness is playing the drum in your own school band
and happiness is walking hand in hand.

happiness is two kinds of ice cream
knowing a secret
climbing a tree.

happiness is five different crayons
catching a firefly
setting him free.

happiness is being alone every now and then
and happiness is coming home again.

happiness is morning and evening
day time and night time too
for happiness is anyone and anything at all
that's loved by you.

happiness is having a sister
sharing a sandwich
getting along.

happiness is singing together when the day is through
and happiness is those who sing with you.

happiness is morning and evening
day time and night time too
for happiness is anyone and anything at all
that's loved by you.

~ you're a good man, charlie brown (the musical)

My New Philosophy!

2007-04-06T21:20:00.000+08:00

SALLY:

Oh yeah? That's what you
think! Oh yeah? That's what you think! Oh yeah? That's what you
think! Oh yeah?!? That's what you think!

SCHROEDER:

What?

SALLY:

That's my new philosophy:
Oh yeah? That's what you think!

SCHROEDER:

Well, why are you telling me?

SALLY:

Huh?

SCHROEDER:

Why are you telling me?

SALLY:

Why are you telling me? I like it! That's a good philosophy! Why are
you telling me? Why are you telling me? Why are you telling me?

WHY ARE YOU TELLING
ME?

MY NEW
PHILOSOPHY.

THE TEACHER GAVE A 'D' ON
LAST WEEK'S HOMEWORK.

SHE SAID, "MISS SALLY
BROWN,"

"YOUR GRADES ARE GOING
DOWN."

I COULD HAVE TOLD
HER

SCHROEDER:

YOUR NEW
PHILOSOPHY.

SALLY:

MY NEW
PHILOSOPHY.

<”Miss B.?"

"I'm she."

"Look, see?"

"A 'D'?"

"A 'D'."

"Well, why are you telling me?"

AND THAT'S MY NEW PHILOSOPHY.

SCHROEDER:

That's your new philosophy?

SALLY:

Why are you telling me?

MY NEW PHILOSOPHY.

SCHROEDER:

That's great, Sally, but I have to go practice Chopin's "Nocturne in B-flat Minor."

SALLY:

No! I like it! No! That's a good philosophy. No! No! No!

SCHROEDER:

That's your new philosophy, huh?

SALLY:

Yes! -- I mean no!

JUST LIKE A BUSY
BEE

EACH NEW PHILOSOPHY

CAN FLY FROM TREE TO TREE

AND KEEP ME MOVING.

WHEN LIFE'S A DIZZY MAZE

ON ALTERNATING DAYS

I CHOOSE A DIFFERENT PHRASE.

SCHROEDER:

YOUR NEW PHILOSOPHY.

SALLY:

MY NEW PHILOSOPHY.

SCHROEDER:

SALLY, SOME PHILOSOPHIES
ARE SIMPLE. . .

Man cannot live by breadalone.

SOME PHILOSOPHIES ARE
CLEAR.

SALLY:

Leave your message at the sound of the tone. . .?

BOTH:

SOME PHILOSOPHIES PICK AND CHOOSE

DECIDING WHAT GOES IN IT.

SCHROEDER:

SOME TAKE A LIFETIME --

SALLY:

MINE TAKE A MINUTE.

SCHROEDER:

Sally, anything that takes only a minute can't be very lasting. For instance, Beethoven
took over two years to complete his brilliant "9th Symphony."

SALLY:

No!

SCHROEDER:

I can't stand it!! (he storms off)

SALLY:

I can't stand it – I like it!

IT'S LIKE A GUARANTEE

MY NEW PHILOSOPHY

AND THINGS ARE SURE TO BE

A WHOLE LOT BRIGHTER.

"Oh yeah... That's what you think... Why are you telling me?... NO... I can't stand
it."

NOW LIFE IS FREE AND EASY.

MUCH MORE PHILOSOPH-EASY

WITH MY BRAND NEW...

LUCY:

(She runs across the stage in a panic, shrieking) Ahhhh! This is the last day! I only have
twenty-four hours left! Help me! Help me! This is the last day! Ahhhh!

SALLY:

Clearly, some philosophies are not for all people.

AND THAT'S MY NEW PHILOSOPHY!

of phoenixes.

2007-04-06T20:57:00.000+08:00

being a phoenix can be both a gift and a curse. while some may revel at your ability to rise from the ashes, you, in due course, tire of seeing and living your life in a cyclical, never-ending loop of birth, death and rebirth. it becomes even more unbearable when you soar with another phoenix. for after some time, both of you would eventually burn each other in your own ashes.

the end.

2007-03-31T10:08:00.000+08:00

maybe i'll end up just as i had begun---on the outside looking in, scratching on the glass...

my first poem for 2007.

2007-02-01T20:27:00.000+08:00

im tired
are you tired too?
why don't you take my hand,
hold it, fold it into yours?
let's escape this place
let's go somewhere else
let's sneak out of here
this is getting pretty boring
there's more to life that what we're stuck here with
so, take my hand
hold it, fold it into yours
let's run free and feel the wind on our faces
let's wait for the rain
forget judgment day
take my hand
hold it, fold it into yours
there's more to life than this fiction we're in.

=)

sa lahat ng mei balak mag-suicide!

2007-01-26T21:51:00.000+08:00

Bago ang lahat, alamin muna ang tamang dahilan ng pagsu-suicide.. Kung ang
problema mo ay dahil lang sa iniwan ka ng minamahal mo, di k dapat magpatiwakal! Hello?! Ang mundo ay tambak ng mga tao na pwede mong mahalin kya di ka dpat mwalan ng pagasa.

Ngunit kung desidido ka na sa gagawin mo at sa tingin mo ay meron kng tamang
dahilan pra gawin ito, ang sunod mong gagawin ay ang pagpili ng paraan nito.

Ang mga popular na paraan ay ang pagbigti, paginom ng lason, paglaslas, pagbaril sa sarili at pagpigil ng hininga.

(Note: 1. tandaan na maari k png
mabuhay pagnagkamali ka sa pagsasagawa
ng mga nabanggit, kaya pumili lamang ng
isa na hiyang sau.)

(Note: 2. Alalahaning dyahe kung
pagtitinginan ng mga tao ang mukha mo sa
ataul na muka kng dehydrated na langaw.)

Sumulat ng suicide note. Eto ang exciting! dito mo pedeng sisihin lahat ng tao, at wla clang magagawa! Sbhin mo na di mo gus2ng tapusin ang iyong buhay kaso lng badtrip clang lahat! Pero wag ding kalimutang humingi ng tawad sa bandang huli pra mas cool.
(Note: Tandaan n importanteng gumawa ng suicide note pra malaman ng tao n ngsuicide k at hndi na-murder! Sa ganitong paraan maiiwasan ng PNP ang pagkuha sa kalye ng kahit sinong tambay pra gawing suspect.)

Isulat ng maayos ang suicide note. Print. Iwasan ang bura. Lagdaan.
(Note: Ilagay ang suicide note sa lugar kung saan madaling makita. Idikit sa noo!)

Pumili ng themesong. Banggitin ang iyong special request sa suicide note at ibilin na patugtugin sa libing.
(Note: Iwasan ang mga kanta ng Salbakutah! Jologs!! Dapat mejo mellow at meaningful.. para gayahin ng iba!)

Planuhin ang isusuot. Isang beses k lng mamatay kaya dpat memorable ang get-up. Pumili ng telang di umuurong o makati sa katawan.

Magpareserve ng de-kalidad n kabaong. Maganda ang kulay n puti, mukang komportable. Huwag magtipid.

Pumili narin ng magandang pwesto sa sementeryo. Pumili ng di masikip.
(Note: Kung ikw ay nabibilang sa Year of the rat, Dragon, rabbit, tiger, beef or monster. Wag na mamili ng lilibingan sapagkat ang mga nabibilang sa taon n e2 ay dpat i-cremate at gawing foot powder,, pra gumaan ang pasok ng pera sa mga naiwan.)

Itaon ang araw ng iyong pagsu-suicide sa ung fav. no. sa calendar pra masaya!

Kung naplano mo na lhat-lhat, Magisip ng mabuti at paulit-ulit! Isipin na ang
gagawin mo ay hndi kanais-nais at lubhang makasalanan! Pero pag desidido ka talaga...
Good luck!

@ tsaka paparty ka na rin muna before ka magpatiwakal ng me maganda ka ring memory na iiwan sa mga friends and family mo. gawin mo nang bongga - wag kuripot. make sure na me mga cute na bisita para sa mga single friends mo, ng me nagawa ka namang kapakipakinabang before ka nadedo. at least pag me nagkatuluyan maalala ka nila, like ay oo, si ano - we met the day before sya nagsuicide. bongga yung party nun! mag invite ka ng bands - ay nako, kung me balak ka mag suicide, mag ipon ka na. im sure mahal na talent fee ng Hale kung gusto mo cla tugtog The Day You Said Goodnyt sa burol mo.

and oo, make sure ding masarap ang kape sa burol a! tsaka pwe de wag na tetra pack na juice? pwede punch na lang?

tapos ano, wag na bicuit-biscuit lang.gawin mo ref cake. masarap yun. betteryet, blueberry cheesecake! tapos, tuna carbonara, nachos and garlic dip, pizza, chicken, ano pa? don't forget the drinks! mahaba-habng inuman to!

gawin mo parang fiesta, one of a kind!

eto, suggestion, lagyan mo ng theme - pwedeng horror, o fantasy - imagine naka costume mga pupunta sa burol mo? bongga di ba!?

o ano, excited ka na?

--found this posted on my builletin in friendster and it was soooo funny. ahaha!

under (re)construction

2007-01-26T21:39:00.000+08:00

this
is to inform everyone that this 'site' and everything it contains, is
under (re)construction. any transaction/s enacted upon by this party to
another preceding this day will be reevaluated for its/their relevance,
authenticity and veracity.
those found unfit and unhealthy to stay will be forever deleted, even without prior notice to/from the participants.

please be guided accordingly.

---

unti-unti na akong nilulukuban ng katapangan na magbura-- magbura ng
samu't saring piraso ng mga alaala na siyang ikinubli sa pinakatagong
espasyo sa pinaka-elsewhere ng espasyo ng elsewhereness. unti-unti na
akong nagbubuo ng mga panibagong pangarap, mithiin--may mga panibagong
landas na susuungin at babakahin na wala ng bakas o mantsa ng mga
lumang alaala. naghahanda na ako sa mga panibagong hamong ihahapag sa
akin ng panibagong bukang-liwayway na sisibol.

matamis ang panibagong pagsikat ng araw. may ngiti itong tanging ako
lamang ang nakababatid at nakakikita. nakainam nga siguro ang pag-iwan
sa mga bagaheng di ko naman talaga kailangang bitbitin. batid kong may
mga kaakibat itong mga sakrispisyo, subalit, sa punto ngayon, wala ng
panahon para sa pagsisisi. patuloy ang pagdaloy ng batis ng panahon.
patuloy ang pag-ikot ng mundo. hindi ito titigil dahil sa kagustuhan
kong huminto. walang time pers time pers.

at sa muli kong paglalakbay, mas matapang, mas matatag, mas maalam na katauhan na ang gaganap.

handa na ako.

maraming salamat sa iyo, kaibigan--sa iyong mumunting pagdamay sa
akin sa mga kalilipas lamang na mga panahong ako'y nasadlak sa kawalan.

quick notes.

2007-01-21T15:58:00.000+08:00

this post will really be quick.

bought a whole gamut of dvds a while ago and after dinner, i'm
gearing up for a whole night of pedro almodovar marathon + stanley
kubrick! i have 'bad education' dvd! yipee! i'm such a gael garcia
bernal fan! i so love him at amores perros! ahahaha!
been trying to locate 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' the
whole week!i baaaaaaddddly need to watch this film!as in, i really,
really, really BADLY need to watch this film, like, to the nth level.
(pardon the reiteration) argh!
joy called me up a while ago, unfortunately, i was away from my
phone so i wasn't able to receive her call. nevertheless, she texted me
about a project that hopefully will truly, truly materialize finally!
(i'm keeping my fingers crossed!) this could turn out to be something.
hwekhwek. nah, i'm just really kaladkarin. ahaha.
kite is now a SIS! welcome to the sigma beta family! a big hug goes
to you sis! muahness! spread the love!=) (ano na nga ulet batch mo?)
god, having this 'anne curtis bengs' is such high maintenance pala.
ahaha! and to think, after towel-drying my hair, i just comb through it
and then off i go. now, i can't do that. ahaha! i have to fully let the
'bengs' dry, otherwise it might (might lang naman) curl up in a way that i wouldn't want to be caught dead with sporting. ahaha!

oh well, that's it. dinner's ready.

my look-alikes

2007-01-05T01:38:00.000+08:00

a (de)construction.

2006-12-29T00:13:00.000+08:00

* uncollected thoughts on a just (re)collected memory

Jean Baudrillard posits that the world and everything in it is a simulacrum- a world of referents that exists without meaning. The world is neither true nor false, neither imaginary nor real, for the simulacra cannot be/and is not confined anymore to the boundaries of the dichotomized realms of the real/imagined.It becomes hyperreal. Metonymically, the body that I inhabit and the system of impulses that govern/subject the psyche and the passion are also simulacra. So is the projection of the real/imagined passion that penultimately betrays the whole edifice.

Just how real is “real”? If the realness of the real is anchored on the aural, guttural, sensory, are we not confining/reducing it to the experiential level? How can one value the experiential and label it authentic/truth/real? What are the parameters? How are these parameters defined? Is the real truth/authentic or vise versa? Can the real exist in isolation of truth/authenticity? Can truth/authenticity exist in isolation of the real?

How do I know that this is real/truth/authentic if the projected performance had already been splintered, crumbling down and the shards have already cut through layers and layers of thick epidermis and yet, not bleed? How come it doesn’t hurt? How come I don’t feel a thing? If numbness is a feeling, how come I feel numb yet I don’t feel it? Am I real? Is this real? Is sufferance a political/psychoanalytical construct engendering a culture of submission and/or blind obedience, another opiate, or rather revolution?

Culture is a performance. Identity is a performance. And the body becomes the site of this rupturing, converging, influx of discourses. The performativity of your everyday pseudo-intellectuality complexifies the already complex, self-negotiating (meta)narrative of your identity. ‘you’ as a (meta)physical concept is constantly in a rupture, eluding most theoretical paradigms/paradoxes, hence ensuing (self)alienation/ing other/s. Deconstructing you I come to terms that you couldn’t be confined in a monolithic framework, lest I create a kind of epistemic violence for your thick description, a reduction. To fully comprehend you, one must participate in an ocean of semiotics, criticisms, political rubrics and other miasmatic constraints, ebbing in and out- a Herculean task. And yet, I know that this will be futile. Will postmodernism be of any help?

Ah, the past. But the past is nothing but a memory, it has no other value aside from creating the way we are right now. The past is just a fleeting (re)collections of images, conflicting and engulfing, to be filled with much (place adjective here.)The past and future don’t exist. The present is a simulacrum. Irrationally without meanings. A world full of symbols and yet, no referents.

Symbols. We are all symbols. For what? What do we stand for? If logocentrism has already been demystified, can we fully exist outside the symbolic realm? Outside the symbolic order? If I were to change/ challenge this landscape, would there be any difference? If I were ‘inarf’ and/or ‘farni’ instead of ‘frani’ would anything be altered? Would the course of history be revised? Or will I still be the same frani composed of the same biochemical and molecular components? Are these components real to begin with?

The dissolution of your identity and mine dislocates me. It displaces my (pseudo)mainstream discourse that I have laid down on your table. The terrain I was firmly standing on suddenly becomes slippery, shaky. The gospel truth I’ve been holding on dissolved spontaneously into thin ether faster than I could spell our identities out.

Whatever is left of now is slowly spinning.

Spiraling.

Pirouetting.

Mocking.

Mfgm//
15 December 2006

ToFI approved. --Bullsh*t!!!

2006-12-18T13:46:00.000+08:00

16 December 2006

UP Regents' approval of tuition hike invalid, illegal, oppressive. We express our strongest condemnation and non-acknowledgement of the passage of the tuition and other fees increase (ToFI) proposal by some members of the Board of Regents (BOR) yesterday. We further denounce and seek penalty on the BOR and the UP administration' s deceptive and repressive tactics to ensure the passage of the ToFI and its complementary STFAP (Socialized Tuition Financial Assistance Program) adjustment proposal.

Their decision denied recognition of the strong opposition among the majority of students, faculty, and other members of the UP community nation-wide. The admin does not even have the guise of liberal consultations to back up their approval of the proposals. The STFAP report was actually released in public only on December 8.

The admin employed widespread black- propaganda to weaken and disrupt the massing up of the demonstration yesterday. Early morning they called the public on attention to "security threats" in the university, saying protesters may initiate violence or activities that are "threats to life and property." They furthermore circulated text messages of possible bomb explosions and other planned assaults.

Local administration officials in the Colleges, meanwhile were mobilized to propagate the supposed need for cautiousness on that day, and for some, the rightness of the tuition increase. From this self-imposed state of alert, the admin declared the cancellation of the annual Lantern Parade and mandated the Colleges to hold their Lantern or Christmas programs only within their college grounds. Students were prohibited to bring their lanterns in the streets, and much more join the demonstration.

The admin was blatant in curtailing our rights to expression and assembly, but it still failed to quell the massive opposition to their ToFI proposal. The UP community successfully barricaded the Quezon Hall, the admin's main building, to prevent the BOR from convening within its walls, and to demand for the meeting to be held in public. Some colleges pushed with their parade of lanterns, some of which depicted mockery of admin officials. And thousands were able to join the protesting crowd.

The Board, however, resorted to tricky manipulations to escape from the protesting crowd and enforce the passage of the proposals. They refused to heed the demand for public presence in their meeting, and convened secretely in the College of Law . A notice of their change of venue was received when they were already convening.

The Student and the Faculty Regent, the only opposing members to the ToFI, were not given due prior consent or even proper information on the change of venue and the refusal of the other members to sit in the public table. The next information that the student regent got, which did not even came from the Board but from the Vice President for Legal Affairs, was that the ToFI and STFAP proposals were already passed by the seven Board members who had just convened themselves.

Until now, we are still denied of basic information on the proceedings BOR meeting, like who were the attendees and how they deliberated the proposals. With all of these gravest violations of our rights, we reiterate our position to junk the ToFI and STFAP proposals. Raising the cost of tuition will make UP education more inaccessible, which is a social injustice to our people who find it harder and harder to acquire education in these worsening economic conditions. It only reinforces the government framework to reduce state subsidy to education and gear towards complete privatization, as manifested in the Charter Change the national government is also railroading. It will only make our education suit the dictates of private and foreign businesses, instead of serving the needs of our nation.

We call on all our fellow students, other members of the UP community, and the general public to partake in the fight to junk the proposals approved by the bogus Board meeting, and seek due penalization of the responsible administration officials. We also call on everyone to strengthen the campaign for higher state subsidy to education and for the assertion of our basic right for education.

Signed,

Raffy Jones Sanchez, Student Regent

Shahanah Abdulwahid Convenor, Ugnayan ng Mag-aaral Laban sa Komersyalisasyon (system-wide alliance of all students against ToFI)

Lees Decenteceo, Education and Research Officer, Student Alliance for the Advancement of Democratic Rights in UP (STAND UP)

Juan Paolo Alfonso Chairperson, University Student Council

Maria Isabel Artajo Chairperson, Katipunan ng Sangguniang Mag-aaral sa UP (system-wide alliance of student councils)

Johanna Urbiztondo Coordinator, Kabataan Party – UP Diliman Chapter

dictum.

2006-12-06T12:48:00.000+08:00

Only those who partake of the harmony within their souls know the harmony that runs through nature. Whoever lacks this inner harmony feels a lack of it in the world. The mind in chaos finds chaos all around. But he who has inner peace can abide in this state even in the midst of outer discord.

~paramahansa

lazy.

2006-11-13T15:01:00.000+08:00

i thought i lost this blog spot. when i accessed this a couple of weeks ago, the browser said, it doesn't exist anymore. i couldn't blame the administrator anyway, i mean, what with several months of not logging in? anyway, yadda, yadda, yadda. there. i'm too lazy and tired to write some more.

an exquisite surprise.

2006-03-31T15:31:00.000+08:00

my friends and i were seated at our usual table at the penguin cafe last night. amidst red wine, watercolor pencils, gudang and coffee, some guy went up to us and asked what our names were. Normally, we would be somewhat hesitant, but since we were in penguin which we consider our 3rd home (CCP was the 2nd) and the staff there was like family, we gave out our names.

he wrote them down on a handmade notebook. as he did, i kid around and i was like, "so what have we won?" =)

then he gave out each one of us a watercolor painting of a flower with descriptions he thought were fitting for us. guess what's mine?

exquisite.

it was so sureal. he was so mystifying. i asked him why the description and he said, " look at the flower---yellow and brown and white..you seldom see a flower like that, it's very rare---someone like you---you are very rare.."

wow. coming from someone i barely know, that's really quite a compliment.

oh he's an artist by the way and they're having an exhibit opening at the penguin cafe tonight.

SURFER GIRL

2006-03-31T00:17:00.000+08:00

we officially started summer 2nd week of March!!! so habang ang puputi pa ng iba, heto't sunburned na kame! =)

and she's back!!!

2006-03-29T00:32:00.000+08:00

Zsazsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal is back!
The schedule of the shows is as follows:
April 21 (Friday) - 7:30pm
April 22 (Sat) - 2:30pm and 7:30pm
April 23 (Sun) - 2:30pm and 7:30pm
April 28 (Friday) - 7:30pm
April 29 (Sat) - 2:30pm and 7:30pm
April 30 (Sun) - 2:30pm and 7:30pm

Orchestra seats is P700, reserved seating. 265 seats available.Lower balcony center is P600, reserved seating. 30 seats available.Upper side balcony is P600, reserved seating. 100 seats available.Upper monobloc (balcony) is P500, FREE SEATING. 70 seats available.

Please pay as you order (or as soon as possible). No payment, no reservation. You will be immediately advised if there are no available seats at your preferred area or day.First come, first reserved, ok?

CALL TAnghalang Pilipino at:8323661; 8321125 locals 1620/1621

Sadly, no student discounts for these shows. Full price only.

----

ang mahal na ng tickets! but what the heck??? for the love of ******, why not??? ahahaha =)

disenchantment.

2006-03-26T13:25:00.000+08:00

I am deeply disillusioned. I have reached the heights of my discontent. And a realization struck me like a lightning, I can’t count on anyone except myself.

Deeply hurt and betrayed, this gripping reality has to be acknowledged. Otherwise, repression might ensue to a most unfavorable event.

The magic wore off, the spell was broken. My enchantment to the myth was shattered. My orchid tower is crumbling right before my eyes.

I can’t count on anyone except myself.

People I thought would understand are nowhere to be found. The people I thought who knew are not concerned at all. Everyday I sent out cries of help, cries of frustration and desperation. Yet, has anyone heeded the call? None did. None even tried.

People are always busy doing their thing. People are always on their way. Unmindful, apathetic, uncaring. Cruel eyes, cold stare, mean words. Several billion people live in this place. Yet, each one is alone. Several billion people---alone. Self-absorbed with their own uniqueness, building more and better and higher walls between them. Self-absorbed. Walled in their own make-believe realities. All they think about is how better off they are over someone else.

Everything is empty. Everyone is empty. Meaning is the meaningless and sense is the senseless.
This is a cruel world. And I can’t believe I live in this cold, icy castle. I am too fragile for this world. I can’t live in this world.

Alone, I must face my fiercest battle. Alone I must defeat my invincible foes. Alone will I triumph, alone will I succeed. Alone, I dream. Alone, I have to keep me afire, lest I become one of them. Lest I become frozen beauty.

I can’t count on anyone except myself.

Sad but true. I am deeply disillusioned. I have reached the heights of my discontent. Disenchantment cripples me.

My orchid tower has plummeted.
-23 March 2006-

zsazsa zaturnnah rocks!!!

2006-03-07T18:33:00.000+08:00

i soooo love this play!!! the fact that it has been staged as a musical added to that oh-so-funny and witty humor!!! not to mention a really great cast! (ofcourse biased ako!) ahahahah =)

i do hope they stage a rerun, i wanna watch ulet! =) show stealer si didi by the way!

during the opening

2006-03-06T18:54:00.000+08:00

prof. alden hosting...

2006-02-15T21:43:00.000+08:00

Dime, La rosa esta desnuda, O solo tiene ese vestida?
-Pablo Neruda

sorry for the magulong lay-out ng pics from the exhibit..nakaw na sandali muli...btw, wala pa jan yung pics from the exhibit opening...

2006-02-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

PASAWAY

2006-02-15T21:27:00.000+08:00

more pics..

PASAWAY!!!!

2006-02-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

PASAWAY!!!!

2006-02-15T21:19:00.000+08:00

and spme more pics... (Installing the works..with a little help from mich...)

PASAWAY!

2006-02-15T21:16:00.000+08:00

these are just some of the pics from my installation...yung mga nauna nung iniinstall pa lang so di pa complete yung elements niyan..mejo malaki kase yung exhibit space ko kase big scale din yung installation so wealang encompassing picture na pwede..mei video work pa yan and the works...

whew!

2006-02-12T19:33:00.000+08:00

it's been a while!!!! grabe, been sooo busy with everything!!!!

btw, i've dismantled my installation already yesterday, one week lang yung exhibit eh, but it was a success naman..we opened last monday, with no less than national artist virgilio almario and other well-known artists gracing the evnt... =)

next time na ko kwento, dahil nakaw na sandali lang ito..

i still have to go back to my case study which is due tomorrow!!!! tapos, i have to do stuff pa for for another upcoming exhibit. i'm part kc of this international exhibit this november 2006 at the met musuem!!! grabe, haggardness talaga..(pero, it's okay--hehehe, it's an international exhibit, art as transport station yung title ng exhibit, ill be working with several artists from other countries like the superstar of the art world right now--china, and japan, thailand, australia et. al, ang haba ng list na finorward sa ken and their names are really soooo foreign sounding (read: dami syllables!) so i can't name drop, ahahaha =) anyway, my previously concluded exhibit was entitled, PASAWAY pala..

anyway, that's about it..haggard..

next time na lang talaga...

dami ko kwento!

god is on my side.

2006-01-17T19:31:00.000+08:00

pasintabi kay leonard. =)

haaay, due to my uberly hectic schedule (mind you, i don't get to eat lunch--everyday!) my blog's been rotting! being in sooo many places and meeting soooo many new people (mostly from my field) has taken its toll on me and my frail body (yep--i have lost so much weight!--ahahah, which is a good thing though,although some said i really look sickly pale now..tsk, tsk..) anyway, i'll just make this entry short...

my hardwork has finally paid off!!!!

my installation art with video work proposal has been approved!!!!!!!and no less than the very intimidating and intellectually stimulating curator/professor has approved it--prof. reuben canete (he is also an asian public intellectual!), among others in the panel who are all respected and revered in the art scene, in and out of the country!!!!!! beat that!

yippeeeeee!!!!

i'm exhibiting next month!!!!! =)

the artworld awaits my debut!!!! =)

god is really on my side!=)

the highlight of my year?

2005-12-31T03:23:00.000+08:00

st.louis loves dem filipinos!!!! watch it, if there's a rerun, it will move you to tears, amd will truly, make you proud of being a Filipino....

"Hold your head high

be proud to show your face

eyes to the sky

remembering your race

there is no shame in shouting out your name

even if others should shame you

betray you and leave you,

Remember ... remember."

~ datu bulan's song

i love st.louis! =)

2005-12-31T03:20:00.000+08:00

after much thought about what made my year really worth remembering, i finally decided that st. louis loves dem filipinos was it!!! not only did it had its first ever curtain call on my birthday (13 july) but it actually pretty much became the defining thread for all the things i did, am doing right now and will be doing in the very near future. haaaay...actually, a few days ago, i was rereading the play, and dun ko siya fully naappreciate ( as in lagpas ng 100% although before sobrang love ko na yung play) since i'm doing postcolonial studies. grabe...im doing a different narrative for this one and it has served as a thematic thread to a whole new presentation i'm doing as well (post colonialism and diaspora). =)

haaay...i just love this play!!!! grabe, can i just share? kinikilabutan pa din ako just by remembering yung scenes from it..it will really move you to tears..sobra!!

touch me not.

2005-12-03T20:47:00.000+08:00

this is one of my favorite books, sad, i won't be able to watch it. i'm hoping for a rerun though.

break a leg, arnold!

sweet ether.

2005-12-03T19:59:00.000+08:00

can air really have a taste?

if not, how come the air i'm breathing right now is so sweet?
=)

thanks for still brightening my life.
---

i'm supposed to be watching noli me tangere today at ccp. but alas, there was no more ticket available for today and tomorrow's last performance...sad, but then again, maybe something better will be heading my way since i miss this one.

optimist little me.

---

"pag pagod ka na, magpahinga ka muna. para bukas, may pagkukunan ka ng lakas."

thanks for the support.

chopsuy.

2005-11-29T14:50:00.000+08:00

i change my mind, i want to write about this---no matter how dedicated and passionate i am about my dreams, i do get tired. and yes, sometimes i feel crushed. i could totally relate to that line from that song, i forgot the title, but it goes like this, "hawak ngayo'y tibay ng damdamin..." haaaay..especially with my MA classes---they're just draining me, physically (from having to spend the entire day cooped up in the library because the BOOKS weren't allowed to be taken out of the room, yes, even for photocopying purposes; gallery hopping all around the metropolis and out in the NCR) intellectually (my classmates are just soooo freakin good! although it can be expected from all of them since they're already on their thesis sem, my class kc, the AS298 or Contemporary arts in asia is such a heavy, a really heavy subject..and i really have to work my as off just to catch up!) emotionally---combination of everything! haaaayyy...sometimes, i ask myself,"why do i even bother doing all of these? i mean, i can still have a good life.."i'm doing soooo many things, juggling them, one right after the other---the pressures of being the ONLY art teacher in the whole school, the expectations from colleagues, the responsibilities in the sorority, the drive to push forward my thriving new business, the nerve-wrecking and frighteningly-can-make-or-break-my-career ambitious project, the emo-intellectual pressures of grad school..those and the matters of the heart are still excluded from that list ha..haaay... but then, quitting is the easier way out. and i'm not a quitter. besides, i have known right from the start that what i wanted is hard to achieve, the road i have picked up is less traveled so there will be more bumps ahead. i couldn't quit now. i shouldn't quit now..

don't give up though the pace seems slow,
you may succeed with another blow...

so stick to the fight when your hardest hit,
it's when things seem worst that you musn't quit.

haaaay..am i still making sense? my post is sooo chopsuy-like...as i've said there are soooo many things happening all at the same time. that's why i'm already breathless...and hopefully, i get out of the tunnel stronger, wiser and ultimately, a winner.

i need to catch my breath!

2005-11-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

just barely three weeks since the official start of classes, and i'm already so overworked, haggard and fatigued. not to mention, i've been sick for over a week now, (had a fever last week and i still am coughing every so often) whew! as i have predicted this sem's really very, very tiring---physically, intellectually, emotionally!!! haaay..if i enumerate all the things that have happened to me the past two weeks and a half, it would resemble a fantaserye, ahahaha, with all the twists and turns that sometimes have left me wide-eyed and in awe, and sometimes, just plain the eternal optimist that i am...haaaay...

it's a roller coaster ride, the one that i'm in right now..

but i'm loving every single moment of it.

fortunate events past and in the days to come.

2005-11-06T17:07:00.000+08:00

got my classcards several days ago. and i'm really overflowing with bliss! yes, it's true! i'm still in my MA program (since we're required to attain and maintain a GWA of 2.0 or better, otherwise, it's an automatic disqualification awaiting one unfortunate student!) and what's better? guess? i'm still in CS standing!!! (CS is short for college scholar, it's equivalent to a dean's list!) and i'm really soooo happy i made the grades! i mean, i gave up being in CS standing mid-sem since i thought there was no way i could pull my grades up since i was practically almost always absent in class, and aside from my western aesthetics and art theory class, i thought my performance in my other subjects were lackluster.guess i was wrong! and the classcards are proof of that! ahahahaa =)

was out last friday night. met up with several friends from my field. it was a wonderful night full of surprises,coffee, music, arts, lessons and assistance. i made a new friend by the name of bughaw and it's amazing. we've talked a lot about how i'm about to execute my project and gave me soooo much tips sprinkled with sooo much inspiration. it's a really wonderful experience and feeling to have other people share your passion. sheesh. i'm out of words to describe it. =)

tomorrow's start of the registration. i hope i get to wake up real early since i'll defintely be needing it. since i wasn't able to preenlist through the f*cking crs, i'm enlistng manually. good thing, it's still TRI-CAL tomorrow, meaning, i can still breeze my way through enlistment!

i'm sooo excited about tomorrow and in the days to come as well. second sem is truly very hectic and magical for me. just thinking about it right now keeps me breathless. but i'm very much looking forward to it---all of it.

life is good. =)

those little brown eyes did it!

2005-10-25T23:39:00.000+08:00

once again, i melted in his embrace. his was strong and warm at the same time.

sh*t! this is not me! ahahaha =)

it's underway! yippeee!!!

2005-10-25T23:25:00.000+08:00

done with the boards! =)

now, what i got to do next is consult him about the details for so and so, wait for his go signal and poof*** it became koko krunch! ahahahaha =)

sheeesh. i can't break my promise! ahaahahah =)

excerpt.

2005-10-24T20:41:00.000+08:00

under the vast, clear blue sky and with the wind blowing on her face, she looked around. surprisingly, everything looked so peaceful. a little girl with a pair of blue ribbons on her pigtails was playing, running back and forth on the green, wide lawn while her parents looked on, admiring the same sky that had caught her attention. everywhere, there were people strolling along, giggling, talking- vibrant and full of life. some were seated, either sipping hot lattes or ice cold fraps from a nearby al fresco coffee shop. the scene before her transported her to a sunny Italian piazza on a bright, warm afternoon. she looked on, hoping the gaze would freeze this scene before it fleets and the bubble shatter into specks sending her back to reality. she looked more intently now, but still, everything was in a sombre, serene mode. even the turmoil inside her seemed so distant now, she was pretty sure that the beauty emanating from what she was seeing silenced that knawing churn inside her.

she's been in this place countless times before, yet the peace now enveloping her senses seemed new and gave her a certain strength and warmth.

how could she have failed to see this?

the setting sun on her left fired her soul anew, while the horizon gave her a sense of freedom - like she was flying high, being one with the wind. she felt invigorated, soaked up on all the positive vibes the place had showered her with. she felt her passion returning, enflaming her more than ever before.

today, she told herself, i died.

and yet, i live again.

crisscrossing boulevards and alleyways, with honking cars tailing behind the green automobile serving as her carriage, she tried to imagine what lives those other people from behind the wheels were going back into. or breaking away from. she thought about her own. the once exciting life she held now became too much of a routine for her. waking up, doing what she loved best, going, moving, transporting, then going back again. she felt like a tired machine. one that's in some sort of a trance. it seemed like a beautiful dream turned into nightmare in which she hoped to wake up from. it's not that she was actually complaining. she had no reason to complain for everything was perfect. and yet, somehow, she felt that this perfection is actually suffocating, dull, unexciting. she felt that she was destined for something more. truly, she can do so much. but that feeling has no space for her mind and body today. not today, she mused.

today is different. today is unlike all the others. today is more exciting than the ones preceeding it. today is pure magic.

in some obscure world, she found herself. or rather, the obscure little world found her. almost lost in a tapestry of solid, cemented phallic symbols, the obscure little world still found her. a welcoming hand and a face seemed to hypnotize her to explore further. inviting and friendly, the face understood the feeling. she felt relieved. someone else felt the same things she had. someone else believes the same things she held on. someone else understood. she is not alone.

she is not alone anymore.

(to be continued...)

at 3pm today, my life changed..for the better! =)

2005-10-22T00:10:00.000+08:00

ahahahha =)

before going to ccp to meet up with my college undergrad best buds -- mich and bonnie a while ago, i've chatted with p online. she told me some horrible things that a person of a lesser character would be so frantic about already, and would definitely ruin one's perfect day. but, surprisingly, i took it lightly. (believe me, it's surprising! ahahaha;p) i mean, fresh from a really stressful and challenging week at work (which i pulled off fine and which stunned everyone, including myself!), i knew i could handle anything that come way. and i mean anything. it's all about disposition. and character to set things how they should be. =) so after that, it's been a decision of mine to actually stay in focus in every situation, that is, despite things going wrong , i will still maintain that bubbly, determined and strong personality i've always been known for. besides, all these things, philosophies of these religions i took up last sem's still fresh in my mind, and they've actually been a lot of help. =) (sheesh, i'm making prof. pearl's class sound so life-changing! ahahaha =p)

so, i just laughed it all off.

but as i was on my way to ccp, people were texting me again about it, reminding me of things i'd rather push out of the picture (mushin!) so, i was feeling a little bit annoyed already when i finally met up with mich and bons. i thought things were in for the worse.

hell, i thought wrong!

ahahahah =)

because, at 3pm today, my life changed! and it couldn't be any better! =) actually, not just my life, but mich's and bons' as well. what transpired today between the three of us is simply---magical! and overwhelming! we couldn't even believe it ourselves, i mean, it took like a full meal coupled with lots of laughs before everything really sank in. the gravity of the privilage and the hard work that will come with it. but we're up for all the challenges! yes! we've waited for something like this to actually happen and we're not going to throw it all away! i've worked and been working hard to achieve my goals before i reach the ripe age of 27, and yes, the cosmos is conspiring for me to get hold of those, and now i'm definitely on my way up! accelerated! =)

i can't really say what happened yet because mich, bons and i decided to keep it within ourselves first, and then just amaze everyone when we're done with it. all i can say right now is that, things are definitely swell! =)

and i'd like to quote mich on this one, "it's meant to be..."

i'm so excited to start!!!!

in true la femme dela boheme fashion.

2005-10-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

yes! i'm flying off again somewhere, will get to experience new, exotic and exciting cultures, and learning more than i could possibly absorb =)

haaay, i truly live to travel! the world is truly my oyster! =)

it's a prefect day...

2005-10-19T22:29:00.000+08:00

"it's a perfect day...nothing's gonna come my way..it's a perfect day...."

ahaha =)

i'm not really supposed to be blogging coz i promised myself that i will really be on hiatus, take my mind off everything and have that much needed R&R, but no, here i am still blogging my thoughts away =) sheesh, i really couldn't help it..the first few days of my hiatus were okay, i was able not to reply to all these sms i've been receiving..BUT, something that happened last night was really a major, and i say, a M-A-J-O-R kilig moment for me that i just had to share with someone..ahahhaha =) so, ahahaha, last night i had to text isp shine and asked her to shed light on some "matter" =) ahahahaha =) which really made me extremely happy. ahahha =)

anyway, i'm grinning right now from ear to ear, i think i look stupid already..ahahaha =)

oh, btw, A**** and i are officially on "hugging terms" with each other..ahahahhaha =)

yaaaaawwwwnnnn....

2005-10-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

i'm really sleepy but i still want to write, ahahha =)

that's it =)

ahahha * i value the japanese concept of MA eh * sh*t, i'm turning into prof. pearl, ahahahaha =)

as of 12nn today, i am officially on S-E-M-B-R-E-A-K!!!!

2005-10-11T00:03:00.000+08:00

yippeee!!!! i'm finally free! free of all readings that almost bound me to SBC Katips every weekend, free of all pestering groupmates (although i enjoyed the company of some), free of all reports--and all the endless, sleepless nights that come with it! whew! i've made it! i've made it to the end of this sem without losing my sanity! ahahaha =)

to say that sooo much have transpired during the sem is truly an understatement! ahahaha =) basta, let's just say that i loved every moment of it, and i wouldn't have it otherwise! i've grown sooo much! =)

anyway, i had a very fruitful day today---delivered y final paper right on time, got advised for my subjects next sem and yes! i finally got my UP webmail account, i can preenlist now! =)

haaay..i'm uber tired right now having just withstood another al nighter last night, but i'm still radiating all this bliss! =) ~haaaay~ =)

i am free! =)

i am free to do now all those things i've been putting on hold for as long as i can remember! haaay =)

i am just sooo relieved! =)

oh by the way, a few days ago, i asked a pledgee to obtain for me a LAE (UP Law School's Law Aptitude Exam) form..hehehe..i'm not quite decided yet if i'll really take the exam, but the form is with me and i've been staring hard at it..hehehe, just a little trip cguro, ahahaha, albeit an expensive one =) hmm..well, i still have time to actually think about it more thoroughly naman eh..well, i'll just see---pag tinopak, i just might! hehehe =)

a point of no return for us.

2005-10-09T03:37:00.000+08:00

You have come here in pursuit of your deepest urge,
in pursuit of that wish,
which till now has been silent,
silent ...
I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge -
in your mind you've already succumbed to me,
dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me -
now you are here with me: no second thoughts,
you've decided,
decided ...

Past all thought of "if" and "when" - no use resisting
abandon thought, and let the dream descend ...
What raging fire shall flood the soul?
What rich desire unlock its door?
What sweet seduction lies before us ... ?

Past the point of no return, the final threshold -
what warm, unspoken secrets will we learn?
Beyond the point of no return ...

You have brought me to that moment where words run dry,
to that moment where speech disappears into silence,
silence ...
I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why ...
In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining,
defenceless and silent - and now I am here with you:
no second thoughts, I've decided,
decided ...

Past the point of no return - no going back now:
our passion-play has now, at last, begun ...
Past all thought of right and wrong
- one final question:
how long should we two wait, before we're one ... ?
When will the blood begin to race, the sleeping bud burst into bloom?
When will the flames, at last, consume us ... ?

Past the point of no return, the final threshold -
the bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn ...
We've passed the point of no return.

grad school blues!

2005-10-09T02:40:00.000+08:00

sh*t! preenlisting subjects have never been this hard!

during my undergrad years, i would simply curse at the system for doing schedules that are conflicting, but now---all the classes i need are just not offered!!!! where the hell are Art Stud 202, and 240???!!! Art stud 245 (readings in Aesthetics) is offered but i don't think i'm ready to handle that class yet, i mean duh?! i haven't even taken up Perspectives in Art Studies in the Philippines (not to mention, prof. canete's the one handling it next sem!and he's like, really outstanding!) f*ck! and the other electives i want to take up aren't even offered! that, or they are simply in conflict with my wednesday art teaching thingamajiggies (to borrow Alex's term.) sheesh, i really need advising here---where is my grad school adviser when i need him??? hmp! add to that, and lo and behold again, since i'm technically a freshie again (freshie in grad school standing that is) i had to obtain another CRS id since my old one, the one i've been using practically all my UP life had been deleted! what the f*ck!?! grr! now i still have to personally go to Engg to just to get it! grrr!

i hate doing these things! during my undergrad, i never had to lift a finger (although being a UP student, i'm expected to be really self-reliant) but there's just sooo many people oh-so-willing to do all my bidding, however whimsical they may be. (prinsesa eh!)

sheesh, i guess this is another lesson learned for me. and yeah, maybe he's right after all..that i need him..i need him to remind me of all the things i need to accomplish, that i need him to wake me up with an sms/missed call so i could attend my classes without being late, that i need him to jog in my memory what requirements ought to be done and when to submit them..grrr! i just hate it when he's right! i just hate it when i'm doing everything i could all by myself and he comes rushing in to my life pointing it out otherwise. i'm struggling i know, but thank you very much for all the help you've been affording me, i can manage..somehow.

i'm sorry. i don't really hate what he's doing. he's treating me again like a princess, a child, someone ethereal and fragile that a mere prick or whatnot would send me into pieces. i am not.
and i'm learning to unfold my wings and fly here, i know he could very well do that, but i just really want to do this on my own. i just might get used to everything again. and i don't want that..at least not right now...i'm trying my best to be on top of my game here, without anyone helping me, that is..

*sigh*

he just knows me too well.

he knows that eventhough i act like supergirl most of the time, i'm really just a powerpuff girl at heart.. =(

all i ask of you.

2005-10-08T20:13:00.000+08:00

No more talk of darkness,
forget these wide eyed fears,
I’m here, nothing can harm you,
My words will warm and calm you

Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears,
I’m here, with you, beside you,
To guard you and to guide you

All I ask is every waking moment,
Turn my head with talk of summertime,
Say you need me with you now and always,
Promise me, that all you say is true,
That’s all I ask of you.

Let me be your shelter, let me be your light,
You’re safe, no one will find you,
Your fears are far behind you.

All we need is freedom, a world that’s warm and bright
And you, always beside me,
To hold me and to hide me.

Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime,
Let me lead you from your solitude,
Say you need me with you here beside you,
Anywhere, you go let me go too
That’s all I ask of you

Say the word and I will follow you
Share each day with me each night each morning
Say you feel the way I do
That’s all I ask of you
Anywhere you go let me go too
Love me, that’s all I ask of you
----

senti mode lang. =)

f*ck the crs!

2005-10-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

lo and behold! while i was trying a while ago to preenlist my subjects for next sem, what do you think i'll find???

a message saying :

All CRS services will be down from October 7, 7:00PM (Friday) to October 8 (Saturday). CRS services include (but are not limited to) Grades Submission, Class Submission, and Pre-enlistment. This is to facilitate the FIRST pre-enlistment processing run.

grrr!!! and i thought i was early for next sem! hmp!

-----

anyway, so much for that, i should have "mushin", meaning, i should not be stuck with what just happened. there is no real time but now =) anyway, i'm really happy still =)

oh, f*ck mushin again! i'm so excited about tomorrow =)

2005-10-06T23:17:00.000+08:00

Will you catch me again when i fall?

for i am smitten once more. =)

lovely. plain and simple.

2005-10-06T21:46:00.000+08:00

it's really been a long time sincewe've talked and been with each other this way. and i couldn't be happier. it's soo much fun to just get to talk and share moments together and laugh our lungs out the way we used to---without the animosity or us trying to hide away from most people. ahahaha =) really, these days make me remember all the good things that we have shared, and reminded me and actually affirmed my belief that i never really wasted time getting to know him and sharing a part of me with him. it just really feels so good that we're rekindling the "friendship" we had that ended all too soon. awwww =)

really. it's feels good, and funny at the same time and i'm ecstatic and relieved and i'm gushing right now and...argh! i just cant explain it, really. *sigh* it's really nice.

(sheesh. i'm smitten again. siya kase eh...ahahaha =)....)

but it feels really good and as i've said, i couldn't be happier.
everything's lovely. plain and simple.

am i making sense? =) ahahha =) pardon me, i have another exam tomorrow and yet, here i am trying to write away my thoughts (and happiness) --- my ch'i---hoping that it would really transfer here...ahahaha (just taken an exam several hours ago, ahahaha, about non-western aesthetics..)

anyway, that's it. life has been extremely good to me. i wonder what i was in my past life? ahahaha =) haaaay..lovely. =)

=)

is it really lovelier the second time around? =)

2005-10-04T22:40:00.000+08:00

ahahah. i'm all smiles nowadays. eventhough these days are having me at the beck and call of my professors, libraries, weird groupmates, several inches thick you-think-you-can-finish-reading-these-in-one-seating readings and ofcourse, my pc, my mornings are still bright and whimsical. my eyes are sparkling and eventhough my physique is slowly giving in to fatigue, i still am very, very happy. =) i just feel soo good. and no amount of evil scheming and what-nots that come my way can actually erase this stupid grin on my face. ahahahaha.

it's been a long time since i felt this---peaceful, yeah. that's the word. it seems that everything is falling all in the right places. *sigh*

it truly is drizzling magic on where i'm standing. =)

another lesson learned.

2005-09-23T23:39:00.000+08:00

"no matter how old everyone gets, they still hate the most popular prom queen."

yeah, this is sooo true. grrr! is it my fault that they really like me more than they like you? why is that such a big deal? why are you finding it so hard to accept? you had your time being the IT girl. but i'm here now, so move on.

haaay. having such a winsome personality with beauty and brains to match can sometimes be downright frustrating. i mean, i don't intend for people to hate me just because i am the personification of their own frustrations. geeez. for crying out loud. i am just being myself. i am not even trying to win everyone's favor. can i help it if i just naturally attract good things?

think, people, think.

this is what i dreamed.

2005-09-23T22:48:00.000+08:00

in the cool of the evening when i was a girl
i would gaze at the wide-opened skies
and i dreamed of a someday when i'd be all grown
and find me a sweet man with light in his eyes

will i search for that dream till my heart nearly broke
till my hopes turn to hopeless and die
until that one morning when i suddenly looked
looked at you sniffing there and crying

this is what i dreamed
this is what i wished for
now all at once i see
everything i ever wanted is here with me
for this is what i dreamed

like a miracle unfolding
holding you near me in this place
that sweet glow about your face
is exactly how i pictured it would be
i swear i must be dreaming
for this is what i dreamed

i just can't help but wonder

if under those same magic skies

you are closing your eyes

and dreaming of this moment

with me

my life is wide awake now

for this is what i dreamed

and it's everywhere around us
every cloud in the sky
every breeze that rolls by
honey how could you be blind to this
sweet bliss?
this is what i dreamed

this is what we dreamed.

----
for the guy i was with the whole day today. whatever happened between us? what had gone wrong? =(

just reminiscing. and asking.

my report.

2005-09-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

hay, spent the entire early morning (as in madaling araw) today trying to locate pictures of these postmodern artworks. pakshet! ang hirap nilang hagilapin ha!nakakirita yung mga artists na to kase kailangan asa paid site yung mga images ! hmp! but then again, i must admit, ang gagaling nila, as in. di lang dahil their artworks followed the conventions of academic art (e.g.principles of lighting etc.) pero, their minds are great! as in, if i can only upload the set of readings i got for these painters, bibilib kayo sa minds nila! swear =)

anyway, these are the images i've spent hours to locate! hehehe =)

btw, yung kay leopold forstner pala, talagang kailangan kasama ang dining hall, eh ano? haay..pero ang galing nila =) basta ako, i'll have my own website, para di na mahirap mga students to download my works =)

Untitled No.288 by Cindy Sherman

La mano Ubbidisce All'Inteletto, 1983. Carlo Maria Mariani.

Derrida Querries de Man, 1971. Mark Tansey.

the last one's my favorite, hehehe =)

to the girl with green eyes.

2005-09-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

poor girl, she's making me laugh out loud talaga. as in, hahaha =)

kase naman, she's like old but she doesn't act her age. she's so immature, my gosh, and she's sooo green with envy over what i have. she keeps on befriending my friends, getting to know the people i know, copying my every move, actions and what-nots. puhleeeaseee! only a high schooler does that, ano ba?! i really hate pa naman talaga envious people, one of my greatest ever peeves! i don't really mean to be a mean girl to you but nonetheless, you're forcing it out from me. hay naku talaga! gelai, you'll never be happy if you continue comparing yourself to moi, kase parang global economy yan eh. i'm a first world country, and you are a third world one. from the start, di na equal ang race, im way ahead (meaning, i'm smarter, richer, prettier, with such a winsome personality without even trying, hahaha =) so, wag ka na makipag-compete. you'll never win.

+make you own mark+

@live your own life@

i don't care about you.

punta tayo!

2005-09-17T00:17:00.000+08:00

dami bands na tutugtog!

a dose of art attack.

2005-09-13T22:52:00.000+08:00

had soo much fun with my kids in my art classes today. yep, i'm really enjoying my new persona as an art teacher. while doing our artworks, we just talked and talked and laughed and laughed AND laughed the whole time. the kids really enjoy my company, maybe because i'm such a kid at heart as well, that's why we just jive really well. for level 2A and B, i gave them lectures about philippine indigenous arts, culture and traditions and next week we'll do artworks integrating what they have learned. for level 3B today, we did totem poles. =) we're carving and painting them next meeting. =)

anyway, had a nice talk with ***** today. he's really such a sweet little guy. =) and he's asking me to be the drummer for his band! kewl! =)

-------

oh, bumped with a*** several times today too. nice one, lord! hahahaha =)

Captain Jack Sparrow= Bulan?

2005-09-13T21:59:00.000+08:00

Can i just share? Johnny Depp's brooding and piercing dark eyes here and his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow remind me of that Dulaang UP guy who played Bulan sa St. Louis Loves Dem Filipinos!!!! hehehe, shet, kinikilig ako! hahaha =) Therefore, gusto ko na din si Johnny Depp, hahaha =)

pieces of maningning.

2005-09-04T22:41:00.000+08:00

nah, this is from pieces of april. i love this film! i swear! let's just say i kinda see myself in her. hahaha =)

some people actually finds this film boring, but really, it's worth your time. =)

nothing!

2005-09-04T20:50:00.000+08:00

is it just me or has the world gone uber crazy?

actually, i was supposed to write something about my highschool batchmates here, but while composing just several seconds ago, i suddenly got too lazy to finish it off. hehehehe...(sheesh, i was too lazy nga rin to even erase my opening statement..) hahaha =)

anyway..that's it! =)

paris hilton days are here again.

2005-09-03T15:20:00.000+08:00

yep, yep. paris hilton days are here again. hehehe. since i moved, i'm not deprived of sooo many things again, hahaha, and i now get to enjoy the fruits of my toil. the curfew's the only hassle, albeit not that much really. i can still go out even on a school night just as long as i'm back by a certain hour, if not, i can just crash over someone's house na lang, and i yet i won't get scolded. hahahaha. =)

anyway, yesterday was such a drab. i was 30 minutes late in my western aesthetics class, but still was able to recite and give a critical analysis when my professor snapped me with a here's-what-you-get-for-being-late-in-my-class-so-never-be-late-again type of question. ha! =)

anyway, i went to sc and had some readings photocopied. and surprise, surprise. khavn all of a sudden appeared from behind and tapped me on my shoulder, as in, hinabol niya ako. hahahaha =) so chikahan kame after. taht made my day. kahit papano, i was able to snap out of my bitchy and bratinella mood yesterday. hehehehe =)

anyways, i was supposed to go to tribu last night as well and have coffee at cordillera coffe, but, all of a sudden, i felt too tamad..hehehe..

anywa, my writing is wayward as always. so i'll end here na lang. hahahaha =)

juicy bits.

2005-09-02T01:33:00.000+08:00

I’m doing my kids’ grades for art workshop right now. And, I just really find it soooo difficult. I mean, yeah, yeah, I was given grading components but, really, sometimes, I just can’t bring myself to give out a low grade without being biased and all. For example, this kid in one of my workshop classes, well, he really isn’t very good in forms and shadings and technical stuff like that, but he’s really great with concepts. I mean, I was soooo impressed last week when he handed me his finished acrylic-painted 10x15 artwork entitled, “Attempt of a Steal.” What he did with it was, he traced his hand over the panel, and sketched clocks all over. He then painted the hand brown, so it actually looked like a tree with its branches sturdy, but without leaves. The background was painted in medium orange, naples yellow, and ochre. On the other side, he used mauve, maroon and dabs of vermillon. I asked him what his painting meant. And here’s what he said:

“ This is a hand (although it looks like a tree) and the hand is attempting to steal the clock (the clock, ladies and gentlemen, in the visual art lexicon serves as a mortuary—a reminder of the ephemeral nature of life.—my explanation.) But the hand cannot steal the clock because it was just drawn on the panel, making it immobile.”

Ahm, and can I just share that this kid is just about 12-13 years old? Really impressive. I swear when I heard that, I was like, god, this kid is great! I mean, di ba? for a, 12 or 13 year old to conceive of something as profound as that, that’s really something. I was super in awe. Whoa! Wait, can I also share that this same kid also composes songs already, plays the guitar and is actually in a band (although, he said after just one gig they disbanded)? And, yes, he’s got dyslexia, and ADHD.

He’s really a gem!

Actually, there a handful of gems in my art classes. And believe me, although they’ve got these learning difficulties, they’re really super smart and talented! Gosh, I’m raving about my kids! Hahahah =) But really, knowing all these kids, and having the opportunity to share them what I know is really such a privilege and a great honor. I am humbled by the fact that these kids know so much as well, and that I truly learn so much from them too.

Awww…I love my kids.

--------

Earlier, fate has been soooo kind to me. After so many yellow lights I have encountered in different aspects of my life right now, and so many trials I’ve luckily(!!!) survived, I got a great answered prayer (well, at least in my career department). Yes, my exhibit will finally push through!!!!!!!! *concealing-a-shriek-but-failing-miserably* hahahhahaha =) Vargas Museum is willing to lend me some exhibit space!!! (happiness!!!) All I have to do is give a specific date, Prof. Labrador will verify if it was already taken or not, and then I can mount my exhibit up!!!

*Breathe* Breathe* Breathe*

I’m just really sooooo happy! =)

2005-08-27T23:34:00.000+08:00

The Frog Prince
Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, Germany

Once upon a time there was a king who had three daughters. In his courtyard there was a well with wonderful clear water. One hot summer day the oldest daughter went down and drew herself a glassful, but when she held it to the sun, she saw that it was cloudy. This seemed strange to her, and she was about to pour it back when a frog appeared in the water, stuck his head into the air, then jumped out onto the well's edge, saying:

If you will be my sweetheart dear, Then I will give you water clear.

"Ugh! Who wants to be the sweetheart of an ugly frog!" exclaimed the princess and ran away.
She told her sisters about the amazing frog down at the well who was making the water cloudy.

The second one was curious, so she too went down and drew herself a glassful, but it was so cloudy that she could not drink it. Once again the frog appeared at the well's edge and said:
If you will be my sweetheart dear, Then I will give you water clear.

"Not I!" said the princess, and ran away.

Finally the third sister came and drew a glassful, but it was no better than before. The frog also said to her:

If you will be my sweetheart dear, Then I will give you water clear.

"Why not! I'll be your sweetheart. Just give me some clean water," she said, while thinking, "There's no harm in this. You can promise him anything, for a stupid frog can never be your sweetheart."

The frog sprang back into the water, and when she drew another glassful it was so clear that the sun glistened in it with joy. She drank all she wanted and then took some up to her sisters, saying, "Why were you so stupid as to be afraid of a frog?"

The princess did not think anything more about it until that evening after she had gone to bed. Before she fell asleep she heard something scratching at the door and a voice singing:

Open up! Open up! Youngest daughter of the king.
Remember that you promised me
While I was sitting in the well,
That you would be my sweetheart dear,
If I would give you water clear.

"Ugh! That's my boyfriend the frog," said the princess. "I promised, so I will have to open the door for him." She got up, opened the door a crack, and went back to bed. The frog hopped after her, then hopped onto her bed where he lay at her feet until the night was over and the morning dawned. Then he jumped down and disappeared out the door.

The next evening, when the princess once more had just gone to bed, he scratched and sang again at the door. The princess let him in, and he again lay at her feet until daylight came. He came again on the third evening, as on the two previous ones. "This is the last time that I'll let you in," said the princess. "It will not happen again in the future." Then the frog jumped under her pillow, and the princess fell asleep.

She awoke in the morning, thinking that the frog would hop away once again, but now a beautiful young prince was standing before her. He told her that he had been an enchanted frog and that she had broken the spell by promising to be his sweetheart. Then they both went to the king who gave them his blessing, and they were married. The two other sisters were angry with themselves that they had not taken the frog for their sweetheart.
--------

wala lang =)

therapy. shopping. -shopping therapy-

2005-08-27T23:14:00.000+08:00

so yun nga, i was in glorietta a while ago, with my sister. hahaha. went shopping!!!! and oohhhh, whoever said that diamonds are a girl's best friend have never shopped till he/she dropped! hahahaha! shopping truly is a great therapy! hahaha! tapos na ang kakanseran ko sa frog prince eh! (naway manatili na lang siyang frog! hahahaha, na may kulugo! hahahahaha) i'm moving on! hahahaha =)

pero, if magbabago pa naman siya....hehehehehe, i just might change my mind! ha! =)

shet! ano ba to!?! hahaha, ako ba ito???!!!??? hahahaha =)

nakaw na sandali. hahahahha.

2005-08-27T13:41:00.000+08:00

share ko lang, before ako pumunta ng glorietta today. hahahaha.

had my hair chopped off yesterday, la lang! bad mood lang ako. hahahahahahahha. the frog prince kase, masyado na malaki ulo nya! shet, tinutubuan na siya ng kulugo! hahahahhahahahahha. nahawaan na siya! hmp! kase, nagdididikit ng husto sa mga palakang nuknukan ng kaassholan! yan tuloy! yan tuloy, ayoko na din siya! hahahahahhaha.

yun lang... =)

lahat ng ito'y dahil sa palakang prinsipe.

2005-08-26T02:53:00.000+08:00

ika nga ni superGoddess, "Love is a piano, dropped from a four storey window, and you were at the wrong place at the wrong time..."

how true!

2005-08-26T02:35:00.000+08:00

"Time After Time"

Lying in bed I hear the clock tick and I think of you
Caught up in circles confusion is nothing new
Flashbacks warm nights almost left behind
Suitcase and memories time after

Sometimes you picture me im walking too far ahead
You're calling to me I can't hear what you say

[Chorus:]
And you say go slow, I fall behind
Second hand unwind
If youre lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall i will catch you ill be waiting
Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows you're wondering if I'm ok
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time

time after time
time after time
time after time
time after time
time after time
time after time
time after...

2005-08-24T23:48:00.000+08:00

i am somber tonight,

melancholic

my body moving, in cadence with

time

but

my soul is not.

still trapped,

immobile.

Moments from Bubbles and Booze! -sobrang fun-

2005-08-22T20:59:00.000+08:00

These are just some of the pics from last Thursday's event! hahaha, sobrang fun! (hindi ba halata sa pics?) ang daming lasing! hahahaha =)

i danced the night away..hahaha, in my gypsy attire (note: labas tiyan at likod ko! hahaha

(L-R) Vanessa, ISP Shine, Charm, Jamie, Moi and Joanna)

the gorgeous duo---MIS Kat and ISP Shine---

The beautiful sisses! (suot ni nina yung my oh-so-ubiquitous jacket!)

(L-R) Arianne, ISP Shine, (si Kat 05 ata yung natatakpan! hahaha) Moi, Charm, Joanna, Nina, Jem and Carla--peeking from behind! hahaha

(L-R) Joanna, Jamie, Vanessa and Carla

Salamat sa lahat ng nagpunta at sumuporta! hahaha =) asteeg di ba? me beer all you can na, meron din nescafe-ice-all-you-can at ice-tea-all-you-can pa! hahaha! till our next event! muah! muah! tc =)

where am i really now?

2005-08-21T16:48:00.000+08:00

haaaay...sometimes, i can't help feeling this way..yeah, perhaps this is one of those days again, you know, when you're really not in a rut and yet you simply feel that way..

okay, so it seems that i've got things going on right now..doing workshops for kids and pursuing my masteral in art theory and criticism..enjoying the bonds of sisterhood more and more each day..looking forward to seeing HIM everyday of the week..but really..where am i heading to? where am i going?

i know i have hoped for this day for as long as i can remember, but suddenly, my path is without light again---long and narrow..i dread crossroads, but this crossroadless path in front of me right now is still frightening me..i can just either go on, move ahead, or turn my back..

i don't know where this road is leading me to..i don't know what's in store for me right now..

sheesh, it sucks!i feel so helpless..i feel that i'm moving yet i'm really not..d'you get my point?

nah.. even this entry doesn't know where its's heading..

2005-08-21T02:40:00.000+08:00

these past few days, weeks even, i have gained so many things,

and i have lost some...

but i learned that

above all things....

LOVE is magic.

2005-08-15T00:04:00.000+08:00

2005-08-14T03:07:00.000+08:00

we've finally met!!!!! =)

he shook my hand!!!

he sang pa onstage..haaaay

..pakitang gilas daw ba?! hehehe

basta, im soooo happy!!!!

sobra!

2005-08-14T02:55:00.000+08:00

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waaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!

2005-08-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

i moved out, again last monday..im beginning to morph into carla, who finds pleasure in moving..sheeshhh..

normally, i would be elated, but right now, hell no!!!!! i accidentally left my several inches thick readings for my non-western aesthetics class in the other apartment, and our midterms is tomorrow!!!!! to make it worse, i've already incurred 5 absences in that subject and during the times that i wasn't in class, there were 5 reports..kinda alright, right? but no, the coverage of tomorrow's exams are exactly that freakin' 5 reports!!!! grrr!!!!

so here i am, trying to search the freakin world wide web for those topics!! what the hell do i know about this freakin bharatanatyam (did i spell it correctly??? see??) et al???? NADA. zero. none. zilch!

catch me when i fall tomorrow, okay?

sheesh! im the only girl running for honors that is this pasaway!

this can't be! i'm all set to kathmandu for my masteral thesis!!!! huhuhuhu....

i'm passing the midterms with flying colors tomorrow! this is mind over matter! i can do this!!!

hopefully.

whew!

2005-07-30T09:50:00.000+08:00

ang daming mga pangyayari these past two weeks! nakaka-overwhelm! wala pa ko matinong tulog, sobra! patong-patong...acads, my workshops classes, soro, tapos, lovelife...heheheheh! =)

pero happy ever pa din!=)

smile!!!!

2005-07-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

we're meeting up! we're meeting up! again! for the third time!!!!

*kilig*

shet!baka, wala akong masabe!

breathe. breathe. breathe.

haaaay....

2005-07-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

spent the weekend up north..i thought i'll be enjoying the days off but then, the moment the sisses and i stepped foot in volante, everything went kaput! problems, here and there started pouring in, like a hurricane without warning...

just spent the days couped up in the house in ambuklao, arguing day in and out...'hello graci' became passe..now, it's, 'hello sis..' and before the day ended, everyone wept bitter tears...

still, hard times like these really show what the sisses are made of..and yes, despite everything that transpired up there, we still were able to have a good time...

had a talk with tatay kidlat too..supportive as ever, and loving..his words as always comforted me..

we were still able to bond over a couple of beers in nevada square..and a free sisig! hehehe, because the guys from the other table just couldn't resist us (see? haggard man at walang tulog ang mga sis, magaganda pa din! hehehehe!)

well, the weekend was pretty good, to sum it up..we all learned so many things nad the bond became stronger! =)

i love you sisses!

muah =) i love life!

2005-07-18T22:10:00.000+08:00

life has extremely been good to me these past few days, and i really just can't help but wear this stupid grin all over my face! the sisses nga tell me that even if i don't smile, my eyes are bright and twinkly all the time! =) plus, i'm oh-so-good to our pledgees, which rarely happens! haaaay...dunno, must be because of HIM...awwww...

we've met twice already on two different occasions, but i barely remember him coz he always sported a baseball cap. but my friend, who is his bestfriend since gradeschool, always talked about him since we were freshies. and there were even times pa nga that i was on hold coz he was on the other line with my friend! and now, after several years, our paths crossed again!and with him in a whole new light and a different beat, i'm really, really liking him! as in seriously liking him! =) my friend was sooo grossed out with the idea. she was like, "eh si ano yun eh...heheheheh, kadiri!"

gosh! i'd like to post pa sana some more things about him but then, hmmm...not just yet!

shet! awwww.....our paths are getting intertwined! =)

i swear! i really like this new guy! =) as in! i'm his guardian angel nga eh =) awwwwww.....

tuesdays are the best!

2005-07-12T20:42:00.000+08:00

i sooooooo love tuesdays na! i swear! everything just turned out the best! =)

i taught my art students well, had an outgoing conversation with r*****, aced my report in my aesthetics class, and, well, well, well...learned HIS name! =) *teehee*

love tuesdays!

=)

im reaping what i have sown...

2005-07-06T19:42:00.000+08:00

tambak na ang readings ko sobra! panic attack na ito!!!!naiiyak na ko sa dami nila...tambak talaga, and when i say tambak, it's really, REALLY tambak! sheesh. naggigimik kase ko ng sobra these past few days eh...ayan tuloy...

reports and exams na next week! tangina!

tapos, nababadtrip pa ko sa classmate kong isa sa aesthetics class ko (western) kase ang feeling feeling matalino niya. as in, duh!? talaga..napakaposer, with matching artsy fartsy dangling earrings and burloloys and that oh-so-ubiquitous jessica zafra peepers. nakakainis. nagfi-feeling siyang bimbo ako. hay naku, kasalanan ko bang kahit sako ang ipasuot mo sa ken eh keri ko pa rin at maganda pa din ako? kahit pinagpapawisan at humahangos-hangos ako eh presentable and pleasant to look at pa din ako? hay naku ha...bwisit siya! at pag nagrerecite ako sa class, kahit di ako nakapagbasa ng readings eh, may sense at critical pa din ang analysis ko. siya, ewan ko na lang...hay naku talaga, i sooo hate people like that! di ko naman siya kinokompetensya..lam mo yun? bad trip!

magbabasa na ko mamaya! seryoso na to!promise!

pakibatukan ako pag nakatulog ako.

what's with tuesday ba? =)

2005-07-06T19:23:00.000+08:00

hehehe. oh my god! last night, (incidentally tuesday din!) was another great night! i swear!!!! =)

we went to their band's gig. pia said she would suspend her judgment sino ba talaga sa kanila ang papatulan ko until nga sa gig nila last night. me rin kase, i'm still confused sino ba. both are just soooooo damn cute and adorable and all that in their own right. haaaay. dilemma talaga. yung vocalist ba, o yung gitarista!?!

shet, eeeeeeeehehhehehhwwwwwwaayayayyyyyyyyyyw....until now, i can't decide!

can i have both of them na lang?

*wink*wink*

=)

smile, smile.

2005-06-30T21:26:00.000+08:00

tuesday night was the best! good film!
way to go, kids! =)

much love here! muah! =)

bring home the bacon!

2005-06-26T15:33:00.000+08:00

i was talking with khavn last tuesday and minutes before he left the philippines last friday to compete with several international filmfests. i hope he wins. .for teh greater glory of our godforsaken nation.

goodluck to you,khav =)

at dahil nga di ko kailangan ng ganitong distraksyon ngayon...

2005-06-26T15:19:00.000+08:00

bull session kahapon ng mga residente. umattend kameng 'council of elders.' nagsimula ng 140pm, natapos ng 9pm.

wow! di ba?
------

gumimik pagtapos. DISH kame. e boring, sobra. masyadong burgis.pagkadinner dun, umalis na kame. lumipat ng 1920.

uminom kame. ako red horse.

galing! parang wala akong readings na babasahin!
--------

nakauwi ko past 1am na. kwentuhan pa kame ni carla (na equally, madami pang kasong babasahin! UP law stude eh, what can i say?)

pareho kameng mga maling grupo!

4 or 5am na ata kameng nakatulog dahil sa pamba-bash namen ng mga tao.

ayan, karma. kagiising at kaka-breakfast/lunch/merienda lang namen.

ang dami pang babasahin!
--------

may gimik pa ko tonight! malate pa ito! magdadala na lang ako ng readings galore!

haaaayyy...tangna! di ba matatapos ang pagbabasa ng mga readings na ito????

estado ko ngayon.

2005-06-24T15:36:00.000+08:00

gabi-gabi, pare-pareho ang eksena. kape. yosi. santambak na readings. para sa 1. aesthetics and theories of art, non-western tradition, 2. aesthetics and art theory, western tradition, 3.european art history, 4.philippine art and society. tapos, sandamakmak din ang plates ko para sa mga art students ko. siempre, kailangan ako muna ang gagawa nun para may guide sila.

nakakapagod pala. laki na ng eyebags ko.
--------

fete last saturday. happiness naman. kasama ko si mr.x*****!!!hahahaha =)

tangna! ang dami pala nakakita sa men nun..siempre, di namen alam pano i-eexplain bakit kameng dalawa yung magkasama di ba?

--------

RASA na ang bagong name ng band namen. meaning, aesthetic experience. mula sa indian philosophy on art. wala lang, for more MA art theory and criticism student ako mode. hahaha. keri naman kay carla,(1st year, UP Law student ngayon) and kirstel,( business administration naman siya) astig di ba? =)

--------

katext ko pala si mr. x***** kanina, hahaha =) may pupuntahan kameng video installation next week! hectic man ang schedule, gigimik at gigimik pa din =)

kilig! =)

-------
at dahil katext ko siya, kamusta naman ang pagbabasa ng readings? hehehe, sabi ko nga sa sarili ko eh, hindi ko kailangan ng ganitong distraksyon ngayon!

ulitin!

DI KO KAILANGAN NG GANITONG DISTRAKSYON NGAYON!

-------

may classmate pala akong cute sa phil.art and society class ko. naka-dreads siya. basta, astig! seatmate ko siya nung wednesday. in fairness, siya ang tumabi sa ken! =)

sana groupmate ko siya, if ever may group reporting or whatever. hehehehe.

ulitin!

DI KO KAILANGAN NG GANITONG DISTRAKSYON NGAYON!

------

classmate din pala kame ni sagada sa isang subject. (wag na idisclose kung ano, mahirap na..) palalain naten, seatmates kame (although di naman tinakda ang seating arrangement ng bawat estudyante.) palalain pa naten. partner kame sa report.

ultin!

DI KO KAILANGAN NG GANITONG DISTRAKSYON NGAYON!

------

tinetext ako ng isang di kaaya-ayang nilalang sa campus (read: kinasusuklaman ko ang org/frat/club nila) bad trip yon!

ulitin!

DI KO KAILANGAN NG GANITONG DISTRAKSYON NGAYON!

-------

tinatawag na akong muli ng kabundukan. nagpaparamdam na naman ang sangkatauhan sa taas. tinetext na akong muli ng mga trojans...hahahahaha =)

ulitin!

DI KO KAIALNGAN NG GANITONG DISTRAKSYON NGAYON!

-------

pressured akong mag-US ngayon. wala lang. [personal gratification mode lang.

kailangan maaccomplish ko yon.

smiling again.

2005-06-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

it's such a vicious cycle, i know. but why do i always, ALWAYS fall back into this trap?

sheeesh.

i hope this happiness lasts..for now, i'll cherish it. =)

'pro bono' rocks.

2005-06-15T23:54:00.000+08:00

who and what the hell is pro bono? =)

hehehe. that's my band! yep, i have a band now! kirstel on guitar, me on the bongos and vocals and carla as the lead vocalist! we have started practicing a few weeks ago, and well, it's not like i'm bragging or what, but we do sound great, and, hell, we rock! definitely girl power and prowess at its best!

we'll be debut probably next month or in august, in the upcoming IND(I)EMAND concert by up sigma beta sorority. hehehe =)

i'll post details next time. =)

wedding bells.

2005-06-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

doing ate maan's wedding as the wedding planner (duh?) is sooo much fun! i have all these bridal magazines occupying so much space in my shelf and was browsing at them earlier. so, by now, (even though i'm not gonna get married, coz i don't think i'd live that long to see the day of my wedding, coz, for the sake of everyone, i'd be dying at 28, i have this incurable sickness eh) i have at least a painted a picture of what it will be. =)

the theme would most definitely be gypsy-like, meaning, lots of wild flowers strewn all over the place and will be very, very colorful. it won't be a church wedding, coz i dont want to go through all that hullaballoo. besides, i'm not even confirmed yet, hehehe. so the ceremony and the reception will be in a garden, with lots and lots of flowers with a great mountaineous view, fogs and all. it will be at the break of dawn, with dewdrops kissing all the flowers and leaves, and the sun slowly peeking from the horizon. my entourage would be wearing deep, candy-colored gowns : my maids-of-honor, bright fuschia cocktail length gown with very detailed embroidery and beadwork. secondary sponsors' dresses would be torquiose, bridesmaids' are tangerine. the little flowergirls would be wearing deep periwinkle. and instead of showering us with flower petals at the end of teh ceremony, hundreds of butterflies will be flown.

my bouquet will not bear the traditional floral arrangements. i want them to look like they were just picked from the garden.definitely there would be tulips (my favorite) as well as liliums, callalily, amaryllis, orchids and peony. definitely NO ROSES! =)

the buffet table will be holding a whole gamut of fresh fruits, breads, wines and hmmm..i still have to finalize my menu. and i will be designing my own wedding cake too, and it will definitely echo my gypsy theme, meaning, lots of colors and lots of swirly patterns and dreamy motif.

a marymay pole will be at the center of the garden where everyone will be dancing in cadence with the rhythm of the bongos. i want strings and woodwind too---harps, old fashioned ukeleles, flutes and harmonicas to go with the drums. and what's a gypsy wedding without tambourines? every guest should have one! no fancy piano conciertos for me this time.

the mood should be very, very festive. i don't like my guests to just stay at their tables. i want them to mingle about and dance, dance, dance. until moonlight! so if you're not apt for that, i guess you won't be receiving an invitation. hehehe =)

haaaaayyyy...all these in a few more years, IF i get to live that long...

(gosh, which reminds me, i only have 6 more years and a few weeks to live! everyday counts...)

baptism of fire.

2005-06-08T22:16:00.000+08:00

i got baptised today at work.

teaching art can be both rewarding and excruciating! rich, bratty children i can tolerate because they're really cute and adorable, but rich, bratty adoloscents? it's a whole, different story! i have just found out that they can be a really, really pain in the ass.

can you just imagine my horror when two kids at 7th grade broke out in a brawl while we were mixing acrylics? i was like, oh no, how do i process this??? the other child was really mad and cursing and, you know all that stuff bratty kids do..and everyone in the class started joining in the "commotion" and i was like, really dumbfounded, i didn't know what to do..all i could muster was, " okay, quit it you two...rob, you're getting a verbal for this.." (he started the whole thing) gosh...one of the other kids left and fetched teacher rhea and she was the one who tried to fix things up. teacher rhea was like, "give teacher maningning a break, it's her first day too.." and while she said that, i found myself holding back tears.

sheesh.

so much for my first day.

ohhh, i forgot, i arrived 15 mins late for my first class too. nobody told me that my schedule was moved.

haaaaayy...

---------------

on a lighter note, new sis jan just told me j***, that guitarist has just broken up with his gf! whoppeeeee!!!! =)

signed, maningning.

2005-06-06T14:33:00.000+08:00

tama na. ayoko na din. tulad mo, pagod na din ako. sori, nag-aksaya tayo ng oras ng isa't isa.

pasensya na.

ewan.

2005-06-06T14:18:00.000+08:00

hala, galit ba siya? di niya ko kinakausap. napuno na kaya siya sa ka-brat-an ko? ewan.

bad trip din ako.

bless my gypsy friends.

2005-06-06T14:09:00.000+08:00

for everything =)

fuck the unwritten rule!

2005-06-04T18:14:00.000+08:00

sabi ni maryan, na bored na bored na states ngayon via ym (miss na kita! balik ka na dito! samahan mo ko magmoda!) :

ayos a. hindi ko rin alam eh. sa totoo, hindi ako magaling sa mga ganyan na nagpaparinig. sabi sa cosmo (ang ating bibliya ateh ) ang mga lalaki ay hindi mind readers at hindi sila mahilig mag-overanalyze tulad ng girls. therefore, he could conclude that you are not interested or you may be interested but talagang off limits because of the UNWRITTEN RULE.

tangnang unwritten rule yan!

gdjshkjdhoyfreuyfkjfdkhjazad.

2005-06-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

bwisit ka! please naman dude, the least you could ever do is not show the real you...

i get weak.

blogging anew.

2005-05-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

grabe, this is like my first blog piece in years!!!!

been busy kase talaga eh..haaay, teaching art to special kids can be tiring! tapos, guess what???i've been admitted na to MA ART THERY AND CRITICISM at ofcourse, UP-Dil!!!! grabe, after a grueling 3hour exam where i arrived late, and a hrrendous panel interview, i couldn't believe i got in!!!! hehehehe, naiiyak tuloy ako ulet right now...as in..balik-estudyante ako!!! =)

anyways, i have a house to keep din kase kaya ang haggard talaga. have to be back sa house ng around 530 t start cooking dinner. yep, im the official cook! in fairness, enjy sila sa mga dishes na niluluto ko, yummy kase talaga! hehehe=)

anyways, im collating my artowrks right now din, preparing din kase ako for a residency kaya doble-doble ang kapaguran din. oh i forgot! i'm als the official new wedding planner ni ate maan, chna's sister. she's getting married on 21 dec sa st.joseph's sa baguio with reception sa camp jhn hay--taray noh?! hehehe =) i have to start contacting couturiers din at ang latest na balita eh yung gusto ni ate maan na si tina periquet (ata, nt s sure though) eh nag-migrate na sa hong kong, oh di ba? gdluck pano k siya hahanapin di ba?

anyways, about him??? tangna ka, grace! huhuhuhu...un lang..i'd rather not talk about this yet. tama ka nga maryan, napakahirap magmahal ng...alam m na..haaaayy..ewan ko na...bahala na...tanga na ko kung tanga...basta, patuly k na lang gagawin yung mga ginagawa ko..ewan...

i'm smiling nowadays =)

2005-05-11T22:01:00.000+08:00

mahala ko na siya!!!! tangna! =)

un lang, hehehehehehe =)

*teehee*

sigh.

2005-05-03T21:36:00.000+08:00

words are sooo insufficient right now. all i can do is sigh.